Current:Home > MarketsYou have summer plans? Jim Gaffigan does not -WealthSpot
You have summer plans? Jim Gaffigan does not
View
Date:2025-04-17 17:09:54
Summer is here, and so are those summer expectations.
First and foremost, there is an overwhelming pressure to enjoy summer. ("It's summer! Summer is here! Don't waste it!")
I feel this every morning when I look out my window. "Ugh, it's nice out there, I guess I should go out there and be uncomfortable. I wouldn't want summer to feel unappreciated."
Of course, it's not enough to just enjoy the summer. We are all supposed to have well-mapped-out "summer plans." Every spring the questions start: "You got any plans for the summer?" "What are you going to do this summer?"
Why do I need a plan? I thought summer was about relaxing.
Wait – are we supposed to schedule when we relax? That sounds stressful! I relax by not having plans.
Now, I understand my unplanned summer plan is not common. Most non-freelancers need to schedule a week off with their employers. This makes sense, but those aren't "summer plans." That's called a vacation.
Some adults talk about their "summer plans" as if they just graduated from 8th grade or are living off some endless family inheritance. The only adults who should have "summer plans" are teachers and NBA players.
Summer plans usually involve a destination. ("You going anywhere this summer?")
Why does summer mean we have to travel? It makes no sense. ("Well, the weather is finally nice here. I guess we should go somewhere else.")
We live here! All our stuff is here! Why would we go somewhere where our stuff isn't? That sounds like a situation we'd want to avoid. ("I almost had to go to this place where I didn't have any of my stuff. I really dodged a bullet there.")
Most summer destinations involve the pursuit of water: A lake, a river, the ocean. I live in the Northeast, so people always talk about the beach. "The beach!" Like it's a summertime Mecca.
"You guys going to the beach this summer?"
I hope not! Have you been to the beach? It's all sand. Just sand and bugs. I never understood the appeal of the beach. Sometimes you have to pay to park at the beach. You pay to park, and then if you want to sit down, you have to bring your own chair.
Yeah, I'll pass on the beach.
My favorite thing to do on a beautiful summer day? Take a nap. Dream about fall.
For more info:
- jimgaffigan.com | "Barely Alive" tour dates
Story produced by Lucie Kirk. Editor: Chad Cardin.
See also:
- On Father's Day Jim Gaffigan ponders the peculiar lives of childless men
- From laughs to ZZZs
- Do you get incessant messages from politicians asking for money? Jim Gaffigan does, too
- Jim Gaffigan is baffled over the mania for pumpkins
- Jim Gaffigan's advice to parents of young kids: It only gets worse
- Super Bowl Sunday: The pageantry and the gluttony
- Jim Gaffigan on 2022: The future is here!
- What would Jesus want for his birthday?
- Jim Gaffigan on the perils of aging gracefully
- On getting the whole lockdown thing wrong
- 2020, please turn your notifications off
- Jim Gaffigan on his first drive-in standup show
- On living in a time warp
- On acquiring a green thumb
- Summer memories, '50s style
- Blondes' bad rap
- In:
- Jim Gaffigan
veryGood! (1752)
Related
- IRS recovers $4.7 billion in back taxes and braces for cuts with Trump and GOP in power
- Passenger says he made bomb threat on flight to escape cartel members waiting to torture and kill him in Seattle, documents say
- Iowa teen gets life in prison for killing Spanish teacher over bad grade
- Inside Chris Evans' Private Romance With Alba Baptista
- B.A. Parker is learning the banjo
- Justice Department asks court to pause order limiting Biden administration's contacts with social media companies
- Zendaya Sets the Record Straight on Claim She Was Denied Entry to Rome Restaurant
- After a Ticketmaster snafu, Mexico's president asks Bad Bunny to hold a free concert
- $73.5M beach replenishment project starts in January at Jersey Shore
- In big win for Tesla, more car companies plan to use its supercharging network
Ranking
- Off the Grid: Sally breaks down USA TODAY's daily crossword puzzle, Triathlon
- Ice-fighting Bacteria Could Help California Crops Survive Frost
- Tamra Judge Wore This Viral Lululemon Belt Bag on Real Housewives of Orange County
- Q&A: A Sustainable Transportation Advocate Explains Why Bikes and Buses, Not Cars, Should Be the Norm
- Highlights from Trump’s interview with Time magazine
- Long-lost Core Drilled to Prepare Ice Sheet to Hide Nuclear Missiles Holds Clues About a Different Threat
- The 100-year storm could soon hit every 11 years. Homeowners are already paying the price.
- Ezra Miller Makes Rare Public Appearance at The Flash Premiere After Controversies
Recommendation
The city of Chicago is ordered to pay nearly $80M for a police chase that killed a 10
Jennifer Lopez Sizzles in Plunging Wetsuit-Inspired Gown at The Flash Premiere
Why the government fails to limit many dangerous chemicals in the workplace
Your Multivitamin Won't Save You
What do we know about the mysterious drones reported flying over New Jersey?
Jon Hamm's James Kennedy Impression Is the Best Thing You'll See All Week
Rachel Bilson’s Vibrator Confession Will Have You Buzzing
Your Multivitamin Won't Save You